Life Stages:  The Stepping Stones of Living

By Tim Hofmann, M.C.

If there is one thing that is true about life it is that the people living it are constantly changing.  Large, predictable changes are sometimes called life stages; sort of stepping stones on life’s path.  The different roles that we play (such as wife/husband, mother/father, daughter/son, supervisor, employee, etc.) each have their own set of stepping stones.

Young children rapidly move through many stages as they grow.  These stages are primarily associated with the physical and psychological development of children.  As we grow older our stepping stones tend to be more associated with life circumstances rather than our physical development. 

Examples of life stepping stones would include gaining the ability to reason, “finding ourselves” in adolescence, getting married, having children, sending our children to school, having our children leave to start their own lives, and retirement.  Sometimes a stepping stone is unexpected.  Divorce, death of a friend or family member, a job promotion, a career change, mid-life crises and many other events can come along on life’s path.

Stepping Stones and Stress

As we move from one stone to another we often encounter stress.  Life changes require us to adapt, and this process of adaptation can be difficult.  As circumstances change around us we must move from a stable, comfortable way of doing things to a less comfortable exploration of finding new ways and skills to cope with the changes.  It is normal to feel somewhat more stress during this time of change.

On occasion life forces us to jump over too many stepping stones at a time.  Sometimes, the stress can become prolonged and/or overwhelming.  It’s as if we get stuck in a thick tar-like substance and can’t find a way out.  It’s easy to feel anxious, nervous, or depressed when we’re trapped in a personal problem that seems unsolvable.

When you get stuck it’s time to get assistance from others. A close friend can be helpful.  Just talking the situation out with someone may help you to see some solutions.  Unfortunately, the relationship that you have with a friend may interfere with the helping process.

Professional Help

Professional counselors are trained to help people get unstuck.  A counselor can help you find solutions that are right for you and then provide the skills and support to help you make them happen.  The unique relationship between a client and a counselor promotes creativity and offers a rich source of ideas for changes to get you back on life’s path.

 The next time you get stuck on a stepping stone it’s time to ask for assistance.  It is much more enjoyable to move smoothly over the stones rather than tripping over them.