Do You Worry About the Paint Job?

By Tim Hofmann, M.C.

      Everybody worries sometimes.  As human beings we all have the capacity to think about events in the future and imagine the worst.  The worry process motivates us to plan and take action as necessary.  Worrying can be healthy as long as it doesn’t get out of control.

      But all to often it does get out of control.  We become so tightly focused on the details (i.e. the paint job) that we lose all perspective of what is really important in life.  This tightly-focused view is constantly reinforced by a society that values perfection and doesn’t seem to know how to relax. 

Quantity, Quality & Process

      Given that many of us spend a great deal of time and energy worrying, it is probably worth a few minutes of self-reflection to determine if we are doing it in a healthy way.  First, are you a chronic worrier or do you worry only occasionally about specific life events?  Occasional worries are normal, but if you find yourself jumping from worry to worry you probably have learned a way of thinking that promotes a loss of perspective and high stress.

      Take a moment to step back from your worry and answer this question:  Am I worrying about the big things or do I spend a lot of energy on small stuff?  Healthy worrying is like picking your battles:  don’t sweat the small stuff.

      How do you worry?  Do you take action fairly quickly or do you get trapped in a draining cycle of thinking about the problem over and over again (ruminating)?  Ruminating over a problem is another bad habit we can get in to.  People who ruminate usually are either seeking the perfect solution (there ain’t no such animal!) or they are trying to fix a problem long after the time for action has passed (like closing the barn door after the horse has run off).

      Ultimately, you must determine whether your worrying is interfering with your life.  Do you avoid people, places, or events due to unrealistic worrying?  Does your worrying stop you from doing what you want?  Are you experiencing symptoms of stress such as muscle tension, frequent headaches, ulcers or chronic abdominal pain, frequent illness, or feelings of being “on edge” or “nervous?”

Feeling Better

      There are many ways to treat anxiety and chronic worrying.  First, you should see your physician.  There are many physical conditions that can cause or be significant contributors to high levels of anxiety.

      Second, if your worrying is isolated to a single event that is of short duration you might decide that it is best handled with a tranquilizer.  Before using these drugs you need to be fully aware of the down-sides including numerous side-effects, significant addiction potential, and a tendency to erode your coping skills.

      If you have developed a pattern of worrying about many things, then it is time to learn some new habits.  Like changing any habit, altering the way that you think requires some time and effort.  Although it is possible to change your own thinking without assistance, most people who want to make this kind of change use the services of a professional counselor.  A counselor can help you to “see beyond your own blinders” in a way that will help to install the new thinking process smoothly. 

            Changing the worry habit is not easy.  It should be viewed as an investment in your future happiness.  After all, “life’s too short to worry about the paint job.”